Who knew becoming an author was such a gut-wrenching experience? How many times in the last few days have I whispered a quick, desperate prayer for help? My, but my stomach still flips! I have been writing for years, literally for years. But I've never published. Why? Plain didn't know how. Didn't know how and was too fearful to take the next step. I've sent a few submissions off and got the lovely rejection letters. Once I received nothing at all. That was a great encouragement. Nothing. So I just turned back to my computer and composed. Moving on was just too difficult. It was much easier to write down the personal movie that shows in my head every night when I lay down to sleep.
You see, these manuscripts become your children, precious and few and, as any experienced empty-nester will tell you, very hard to let go of. Oh, dear. I ended with a preposition. Now that will bother me. The rules, the rules!!! So many rules. But I meander. A blog about rules, or rather the lack of, will have to wait. It's hard to let go of something that has been with you for fifteen to twenty years. Lands, even my first novel, as corny as it is, is still, 'special,' to me. I still sport hopes that I will re-vamp it and make it the novel of the year.
Now I have stepped out and allowed others to read what I have so diligently poured out these last years. Do I fear what I will find out? You betcha! But I also have a quiver of excitement to reach that next step. A step that may lead to my dream.
Do you have a dream? Chase it for all you're worth! Ask God to show you the way. Then hold on to your seat, prepare for sharp turns, and experience the exhilarating ride. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will direct your path." (Proverbs 3:5-6) See how that last two sentences were my best ones? That's because they weren't mine, they were God's. I've whispered those two sentences to myself many times in the last couple of days.
Maybe I will never be a published writer, but I know there's a reason I do this. And I know He will reveal it to me when the time is right. Meanwhile, thanks God for the movie I'll watch tonight. I can't wait to see what You'll do with it!